ALL HE HAS LEFT
By
Ashleigh Anpilova
Memories are all Gibbs has left.
An established relationship story.
Warning: A non-happy story.
Written: March 2012. Word count: 500.
Memories are all he has left.
Memories of the good times. Memories of the bad times. Memories of their happiness. Memories of their love. Memories of their close friendship. Memories of all the years they had together as friends and as lovers. Memories of laughing together. Memories of crying together. Memories of working together. Memories of being together. Memories of their every day lives. Memories of the special times. Memories of the ordinary times.
Memories of dinners out at fancy restaurants. Memories of dinners cooked by Ducky at home. Memories of sharing a bottle of wine. Memories of sharing glasses of whiskey. Memories of evenings spent in front of the fire. Memories of stolen kisses. Memories of holding hands. Memories of dancing in the candlelight. Memories of moving in together. Memories of making love.
Memories of blue eyes that looked at him with so much love, he never felt worthy. Memories of hearing 'my dear Jethro'. Memories of hearing 'I love you, Jethro. I always will'. Memories of skilled surgeon's hands on his body, both to heal and to excite. Memories of his hands in soft blond hair. Memories of the well-spoken, well-educated British accent. Memories of all the stories Ducky knew.
Memories so many memories. And he can recall each and everyone one of them, no matter how much it pains him to do so. And he does recall them because he deserves the pain they cause.
Memories are all he has left. They are all he will ever have now. They are all he will ever know.
He no longer has good times; all his times are bad. He no longer knows happiness; all he knows is unhappiness. He no longer knows love; he never will again. He no longer feels skilled surgeon's hands on his body. He no longer tastes the sweet kisses. He no longer hears the voice he could have listened to reading the telephone directory telling him how much he is loved or telling stories he knows by heart. He no longer sees blue eyes looking at him, letting him know just how much he is loved.
He no longer makes love. He no longer shares nights by the fire or stolen kisses or dances by candlelight. He no longer goes down to Autopsy to see Ducky. He no longer works with his lover and best-friend. He no longer has his lover and best-friend.
For Ducky has gone. Ducky has left America. Ducky is once again living in Britain, in Scotland to be exact. Ducky has left him. Ducky has left him all alone in the far too big for two people let alone one person house. Ducky has left him with everything he owned. Ducky took nothing apart from his medical bag and the bag and case which he packed just before he left him.
Because he had to go and do the one thing not even Ducky could forgive him for.
Memories are all he has left.
Memories and the bourbon bottle.
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