Ashleigh Anpilova


Ducky reflects on the love he has for Jethro.

A pre-slash story.

Written: October 2009. Word count: 300.



It is wrong to love you. I know that.


It is wrong because you are married.


It is wrong because you are my closest friend.


It is wrong because you are not gay or even bisexual.


It is wrong because you know I am gay and have never let that come between us.


It is wrong because you trust me.


It is wrong because you do love me; just not in the way I wish you would love me.


It is wrong because whilst I love you, I cannot care for anyone else. And I will always love you.


It is wrong because strictly speaking you are my boss.


It is wrong.


It is wrong for so many reasons.


But I do not care.


I cannot unlove you; nor do I wish to do so.


Loving you makes me happy.


Loving you gives me peace.


Loving you makes me contented.


Loving you gives me a reason not to resign and return to traveling the world.


Loving you makes each day brighter.


Loving you gives me something to look forward to.


Loving you is what I do.


Thus, even though it is wrong to love you, I am happy to wrong. I do not wish to be right.


I must confess that recently there have been times I've caught you looking at me, and there has been something in your gaze I haven't seen before. Something I never expected to see. And I dare to hope; I dare to wonder  . . .


I dare to wonder if you do love me in the way I love you. Do you? Do you love me as I love you? Is it possible we can be wrong together?


Ducky sighed, tore the piece of paper in half and threw it into the flames. Maybe one day . . .



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