Ashleigh Anpilova


The ninth part of the Discovering series.

Mrs. Mallard is lucid enough to write about her final day.

An established relationship story.

Written: April 2007. Word count: 460.



Today is going to be the last day of my life.


I do not know how I know that fact. I just do.


Today is going to be the last day I will be a burden to my beloved Donald.


Today is the day he will finally have his freedom.


His freedom to be with dear Jethro in the way he should be with him. His freedom to, should they desire, leave America and travel. I know how much my dear son enjoyed his travels when he was younger. And now without me, there will be nothing to stop him from doing so again, should Jethro and he wish to do so.


Today I am aware.


Toady I am aware of so very much. Too much.


I wish that I could see Donald for one final time. Yet I shall not allow the nurses to call him until I have died.


I wish that I could see dear Jethro, to thank him for loving my son. To make him promise to always love him. To make him promise to take care of Donald for me. But I know that none of those things are necessary, because Jethro will do them anyway.


It has not been easy for them. And not just because they are both men. Not just because of Jethro's marriages, and his dalliances with other women. Not just because of the burden I became to Donald. But because of all of these things, and so many more.


The fact that their love has survived and endured all the hardships shows that it is truly meant to be. I wish that I could tell them that. I wish that I could make them see that together they are far stronger than they are apart.


I wish . . .


I wish so many things.


A mother never stops loving her child, because her child never ceases to be her child. It doesn't matter how grown up the child is, that child is still a child to a mother. Donald is still my child, and as his mother I wish to shelter him from pain.


If I could take away the pain of my death, I would do so, just as I would have taken away his pain over the years. But there are only so many pains anyone, even a mother, can take away.


It is all down to dear Jethro now. I do hope that my faith in him, my trust in him, my belief in him, will not be misplaced. I do not think it will be. A mother knows. A mother sees.


Goodbye, my beloved Donald.


Goodbye, my dear Jethro.


May you now have the peace together in life, which I know I am about to find in death.




What Have I Done?


He Always Does

I Know How He Felt


I Told Them

Maybe I Should

They're Everything

The Last Day

He's Mine

I Don't Believe It

Just Let Her Try

I Have Him

My Team

That's What I'll Do

In Threes


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